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From birth we’re taught that we’re owed a beautiful girl. We all think of ourselves as the hero of our own story, and we all (whether we admit it or not) think we’re heroes for just getting through our day.
So it’s very frustrating, and I mean frustrating to the point of violence, when we don’t get what we’re owed. A contract has been broken. These women, by exercising their own choices, are denying it to us. It’s why every Nice Guy is shocked to find that buying gifts for a girl and doing her favors won’t win him sex. It’s why we go to “slut” and “whore” as our default insults — we’re not mad that women enjoy sex. We’re mad that women are distributing to other people the sex that they owed us.
Yes, the women in these stories are being portrayed as wonderful and beautiful and perfect. But remember, there are two ways to dehumanize someone: by dismissing them, and by idolizing them.
David Wong, 5 Ways Modern Men Are Trained to Hate Women
That last line is right on the money.
this is why i’m so distrusting of men. i really really like them, until they show me this side of themselves, and then all i want to do is beat the shit out of them for being like this.
I’ve reblogged it before, but I absolutely love this article. Spot on.
I love this analysis and it’s so spot on, but I wanted to add something. It’s not just about being owed women but being owed a “beautiful” girl. That’s a big part of it. Men aren’t just owed the bodies of women, they’re owed bodies that please them. They’re owed bodies that don’t age, don’t scar, don’t show wear and tear, don’t take up too much space, don’t defy their expectations.
And when those bodies don’t - those women - don’t conform, they’re dehumanized by being dismissed, by being considered faux-women and pseudo-humans.
So it isn’t just that men believe they’re owed women and owed sex. They’re owed pleasure from women, even if it’s just in looking at them. They’re owed satisfaction of their gaze.
I dated a guy (briefly thank God, so very briefly), who really & truly believed that women should plan on regular plastic surgery as they aged so they could stay pretty as long as possible.